Secondly, I am primarily referring to 'Romantic Comedies". The term "Chick Flick" covers a broad swath of potential entries (obviously women enjoy all sorts of films with diverse genre), so I am choosing my most familiar territory to use for illustrative purposes.
Lastly, it's merely a theory, and although I guarantee it applies to some percentage of the male public, I can't (without endless polling) determine if it's a significant number or not.
But remember, any number is a percentage, however small. So here goes...
Men do not like chick flicks due to the wonderful welling of emotion, the euphoric glow, that accompanies Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan (T&M) as they go a'courting.
Oh don't be mistaken, men feel it.
Oh yes they feel it equally to their female counterparts; through every fibre of their being, provoked by the filmmakers design, just like emotional clockwork. What they don't like is that it does not mirror their current romantic affiliations.
We have all heard how attraction shifts through time, from infatuation, to love, to comfort (and then for some to apathy), and many levels in between. The T&M effect reminds men of their emotional capacity to feel amazing, and makes them wonder why they don't feel that way most of the time. We think "why don't I feel the T&M euphoria with my girl?" and we get depressed and sullen, and in some cases, resentful.
Now who would want to be reminded that chocolate exists, when all that is left in your diet is asparagus?
I could go on, but now it's YOUR turn.
8 comments:
I think women have the same feelings upon viewing "Chick Flicks" but obviously different reactions. I "think" (not claiming to have any scientific evidence whatsoever here) what most women believe that watching these movies will inspire or re-inspire romantic gestures in the men they force to watch them. It's a fatal flaw of most of the women I know that they often marry and/or partner with someone thinking they will be able to change or mold them into the perfect person they were looking for. Of course, it is possible that some of the men were romantic at some point and have “changed”. However, realistically men only typically act romantically when they are trying to court or woo a woman. Once they have won the prize, so to speak, they don't seem to feel the need to continue the gestures. Not that we can blame men, it must be tiring having to do all this chasing and wooing, but our society remains largely patriarchal and so this is the result. So what can we do? Should men just learn to take the hint, should women just accept that this romanticism isn’t always possible or sustainable, should women take a more active role in being romantic since we want a more equal society, or should we accept that this romantic love is fictional?
Maybe we shouldn't do anything. Or simply just acknowledge that this is what happens and how it works and accept that these diametrically opposed perspectives are what allows for the balance between men and women.
We can also choose to augment our perspective on what romanticism really is; consider momentarily that Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights are considered novels from the 'Romantic Era'. We can include Bram Stoker's Dracula in that list as well.
These novels are what spurred on our common conception of romanticism, not for frilly, lifeless puff-pieces overwrought with tears and life lessons like those one would find in one of Aesop's fables; but the sort of romanticism that requires a firm grasp of 'feeling' and 'emotion' that is all encompassing. Both the good and the bad.
If we could find it possible, as a whole, to accept this more accurate and traditional view of romanticism, then I feel we'd find ourselves more content and on par as genders from an emotional point of view. We may also find a great deal of 'efficiency seeking' & 'protocol generating' middle managers and technocrats out of work, but hey... ...some things are just worth it.
Anon 1, I think you missed the point. Men can feel it, and therefore it exists. I can't identify what it is, just that it feels good. So we (and apparently women too) have the capacity to feel amazing... we just don't. Be this an 'anymore' or 'never before' realization is your call.
Anger... I think you essentially are warming up your editorial engine (and thank you for the effort of response), and although well endowed with literal ability, I really have no idea what your point was.
A couple of thoughts come up. 1: How many movies have T&M made together now anyway? Anyone keeping count? 2: Why is it assumed that only men get pissed off about the effect of these movies? There really can be a lot of mixed emotions about chick flicks, whether you're a guy or a chick. Anyone who is not currently experiencing said emotions or a relationship involving any sense of excitement or romance could easily become resentful of their own situation upon exit from the movie theatre. Which is why I currently recommend only watching excellent tough guy movies like 3:10 to Yuma, or Charlie Wilson's War - pretty much any flick with guns suits me well these days...
For the record Wired, I used the caveat that I can only speak on behalf of men. The minds of women are forever mystery to me.
btw - I only use T&M for reference. I think you can throw any Hugh Grant effort in the mix there...
oloytgzKenobisan: You say "The minds of women are forever mystery to me." This fact I'm quite aware of, I just thought I'd share a little corner of one female mind, and show how incredibly multifaceted the female gender can be. I'm sorry if I don't write in a sufficiently philosophical tone - I really am incredibly fascinated by my own little world these days, and tend to write from that perspective. Adding sudden mood shifts and a possible state of schizophrenia, and you might get an entirely opposite opinion from me on 2 different days - or even within minutes of each other. Some would argue that I am just a prime example of my sex, not to be counted upon, however I personally think I have higher levels of testosterone than most women. (More than most of the men I know, too, come to think of it...!) And I think that this accounts for my nonaccountability more than anything else. As you can see I'm quite eager not to take responsibility for my actions, and have been known on occasion to plead insanity when I've really stepped in it. Anyhow - rambling on back to the subject of why men (and others) hate chick flicks - I'm thinking that even the best of them, not just the sappiest type, just generally make people want to gag. Not in the moment - I must agree with you, Hollywood knows which strings to pull - but afterwards, when comparing to reality - how could we ever think that such a pink fluffy world could exist? And yet, at the onset of some romantic encounter, it's exactly what we hope for and think we're feeling. And when it all comes crashing down, or you're picking up his/her dirty socks and underwear from under the bed, digging hair out of the drain, or sleeping at each edge of the bed, backs toward each other, one or both contemplating having an affair or already actively participating - you wonder how come you thought the pretty picture would last forever. I mean, everyone knows it doesn't, but the lovely chick flicks with the happy endings seem to make a little promise - or more rottenly, they create a standard that we try to achieve and maintain, even though we know that it's not at all a realistic picture - just the story that gets all the fluffy stuff going in us, so that we can perpetuate the species and live with mortgages, car payments, runny noses, school plays, angry teens, dents in the car door, etc. until the end of our days, or until we go insane, whichever comes first... I'm betting on insanity - I'm pretty much already there...
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